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The following story is
reprinted here, with permission, from Aish.com
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How one thank you transformed a bitter man's life.
I got into the teaching profession
on a fluke. While in graduate business school at USC, one of my professors
asked for
a volunteer to do a special assignment, as an alternative to writing
an in-depth term paper. I immediately raised my hand,
and was told that I would be teaching a college-level course in business
management. Since my entire teaching
experience was limited to being a teaching assistant to a few professors,
I was taken aback at the daunting thought of
teaching an entire class. My Professor then told me that the class starts
in three hours and that I better get ready.
I nervously walked in and
saw 24 young men (no, there was not a singe female in the class at that
time) who all stared
at the newcomer teacher. The
silence was deafening. I asked each student to stand up and tell me
what they were
studying and what they would do after graduation. One after the other
they told me their major, and that they would all
attempt to open a business and run it on their own. The light bulb lit
up and I asked how many of them could balance a
check book? Not a single one could, and so I told them to pull out their
check books and taught them how to create their
first Income and Expense Summary. They were elated.
That was the beginning of
a love affair with teaching and motivating students that has continued
for 105 continuous
semesters over the past 35 years.
I want to share a story about
one particular student who was bright, intuitive, asked tough questions,
and engaged me
in excellent discourse. One evening after class he asked if we could
chat over a cup of coffee. He told me that he was
extremely angry with me. When I inquired as to why, he said, "You
are always bringing God, religion and morality into the
classroom, and as an atheist I resent this."
I found the comment quite
interesting, since in all my years of teaching, I had never heard this
before. There is no
doubt that my Jewish beliefs have had a tremendous impact on my thinking,
and I often use teaching metaphors based
on some particular Jewish learning. So I asked the student if he ever
felt like I was trying to proselytize, or to somehow
influence students to seek out the Jewish way of life. He said, "No,
but I'm sick of hearing you try to push the 'gratitude
attitude'."
I asked whether any relative,
friend or teacher had ever influenced his life for the good.
He quickly responded, "No. In
fact my parents are responsible for a lot of my difficulties."
He went on to describe a life of anger, resentment, alienation
and sadness. He described himself as a master wall builder, surrounding
himself with "protection" against those who
would try to bring him down. "The only person I can rely on,"
he said, "is me."
He told me that his parents
had forced him to attend religious services at an early age, and that
he hated it. As soon
as he was old enough, he stopped going altogether and became an atheist.
I inquired if there was any room to consider
being agnostic, and the answer was a quick and angry, "No."
"Are you grateful for
anything in your life, other than yourself?"
"No."
I then asked if he had a "good bed."
He stared at me quizzically,
and with a wry smile he said, "A good bed?
How would I know if I have a good bed?"
"Well, do you have a
bad bed?"
The answer was the same. "How
would I know if I have a bad bed?"
"If you have a bad bed, you probably wake
up with some form of back pain."
He agreed that he had a good bed, since he did not experience any
back pain from sleeping on it.
I then suggested something
that made him stare back in total disbelief. "Tomorrow morning,
I want you to get up, look
at your bed and say, 'Thank for giving me a good night's rest'."
His response?
"That is the most stupid, ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and
I will not do it."
The Turnaround
The following week, he again
asked to see me after class, as he had something urgent to talk about.
Right after class
I went with him to the cafeteria and sat down, anxious to hear what
he had to say.
"You've caused me a huge
amount of trouble since our last conversation," he said. "Every
morning I got up and
consciously decided not to thank my bed for giving
me a good night's rest.
"But then, on Sunday
morning," he continued, "I got up and it was a beautiful,
warm and sunny day. I was having a
wonderful weekend, and I awakened happy and refreshed. My girlfriend
was coming over, so I went into the kitchen and
prepared a very nice breakfast for us both, and picked some flowers
to put on the table.
"When she arrived, I
was in my room making my bed. Just then you popped
into my head again, and I found myself
blurting out, 'Thank you for giving me a good night's rest'.
"My girlfriend heard
this from the other room and asked who was I talking to.’Nobody,' I
replied, but she insisted on
knowing whom I had been talking to. So I told her the whole story of
our conversations about gratitude and the bed.
"She looked at me with
a deep intensity and said, 'I wish I was as lucky as that bed.
I wish that you would express to
me how grateful you are for our relationship.' And then she began to
cry.
"I was dumbstruck, but
soon found myself talking to her as I had never done before. I was so
overcome with emotion
that I found myself crying for the first time in a very long time.
"We talked all morning,
all afternoon, and well into the evening. We told each other things
that we'd never discussed
before, all in total safety and openness. The more we talked, the more
I began to feel myself opening up. I told her for the
first time in three years how much I loved her, and how much I appreciate
what she brings to my life.
"Later that day I decided
to call my father, with whom I had not spoken in a long time. At first
it was awkward for both
of us, but after hearing me express how I truly felt about him, we were
both soon sobbing and promising to make plans to
meet with each other."
My student went on to tell
me how he had started to see everything that happened to him as an opportunity
to say
thank you. He said that he had found joy in his life again.
I couldn't resist the temptation.
"So are you still an atheist?" I asked.
He smiled and said, "No.
I have moved dramatically toward being agnostic. But don't push."
It has been over five years
since this incident, and not a month goes by without receiving an email
from him, telling me
about his successful photography business, his wife and two gorgeous
children. His father passed away, but he healed
that relationship in time for them to both have peace, love and closure.
His children are attending Sunday school, and
yes he is still a "card carrying agnostic." He never fails
to wish me well on the Jewish holidays, and when I recently
underwent heart surgery, he said he was praying for me.
With the right attitude, I
guess there's hope for everybody.
Author
Biography:
Errol Gerson is a Management Consultant with over 30 years of executive
experience, as well as a teacher and Lecturer
for over 35 years. He teaches at the prestigious
around the country. He is in the process of completing two books: MOTIV8 -- The 8 Ways to Stay Permanently
Motivated and, Everything
You Need to Know about Business was Taught
to you by your Bubbe. Errol has two
children, a son Joshua, who is 27 and will be married next year, and
a daughter Shayna, who is 20 and is studying
singing, writing, and performing.
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